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Marriage is a valued and important ceremony the world over, in virtually all religions and cultures. But does it mean the same thing in each tradition? We asked the experts...
Buddhist
The Buddhist marriage is not considered a religious ritual. Rather, it emphasizes the love between two people and their intention to build their own family. The bride and groom recite the traditional undertakings expected of them as found in the Sigilovdda Sutta. The groom undertakes to love, respect and be faithful to his bride and the bride agrees to become an integrated part of the groom's family, and commits to building a strong family unit of their own.
Geoffrey and Anna were married in the Buddhist faith, although Anna is not a Buddhist. "I was happy to get married in Geoffrey's religion,' she says, "Because it reflects all of the aspects of marriage I think are important. It was a very peaceful service and it reflected the calmness we feel in our relationship."
Church of England
In the Church of England wedding ceremony, marriage is considered to be a union granted by God. The Declaration of Purpose, an integral part of the service, states, "Marriage is given by God. It is not to be entered upon or thought of lightly or selfishly, but responsibly and in the love of God." The emphasis in this ceremony is the lifetime commitment the couple makes to each other in the eyes of God.
William and Patricia were married in a traditional C of E service. "For us, marriage means an equal partnership for life," says Patricia. "We know that it will not be easy at times, but we have committed to each other in the eyes of God, and we're going to see it through sickness and health."
Humanist
For Humanists, marriage is an equal partnership involving a lifelong commitment to mutual love, respect and support. "Marriage is the sharing of experience - a kind of adventure - in the closest of human relationships," writes Jane Wynne Wilson in 'Sharing the Future: A Practical Guide to Non-Religious Wedding Ceremonies'. "It is the union of a man and a women whose companionship and mutual understanding have developed into love."
John and Cathy, a couple married in the Humanist tradition agree.
"We are two whole people committing to each other for life," says John. "We complement each other's strengths and support each other's weaknesses. We are a partnership in the deepest sense of the word." A typical text from a humanist wedding emphasizes this sense of equal partnership, stating, "It is especially important for the principle of equality between man and woman to be recognized in the marriage relationship. Marriage, if it is to be fulfilling and enduring for both partners, must be a co-operative venture."
Greek Orthodox
In the Greek Orthodox tradition, marriage is a religious ceremony, a sacrament. The priest reads sections from scripture, the most important of which is "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her" and "A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh".
Nina and David recently got married in the Greek Orthodox faith. "We loved the ritual and spirituality of the Greek Orthodox service. Obviously, we needed to be legally married in a Register Office, but for us, we were only properly married in the Greek Orthodox Church under God's eyes. There was a very powerful sense of history and spirituality that affected us both deeply."
Jewish
For the Jewish couple, the wedding ceremony is a ritual that joins two people into one whole unit. The Talmud states that "when a man is in union with his wife in a spirit of holiness and purity, the Divine Presence is with them", and this is as important in terms of perpetuating the healthiness of the family unit as it is for the spiritual growth of the couple. Jacqueline and Marcus were married in the Orthodox Jewish tradition. Marcus says, "Although there are a lot of rituals involved in getting married in the Jewish religion, the actual service itself is very simple. This was important to us, because it made us focus on our vows, rather than on the excitement of the day itself. It was a bit of calm in a storm."
Muslim
In the Muslim faith, marriage is both a religious institution and social requirement for the continuation of the family unit. It is considered a partnership of equals, where both individuals support each other. A common reading used in the wedding ceremony is, "The best garment is the garment of God-consciousness. It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another."
Pagan
The Pagan wedding ceremony is based on the harmonies between the couple and the natural world. It often takes place in an outdoor venue with strong spiritual powers.
The Marriage Rite emphasizes the importance of an equal partnership within the relationship. It states that the marriage should "bring together great forces from which may flow the seeds of future generations to be nurtured within the womb of time. Within every masculine nature lies the feminine; within every feminine nature lies the masculine. The interplay of masculine and feminine forces, when flowing freely in a union based on true love, finds many expressions. This union is truly holy."
The wedding ceremony celebrates the cycles of life, the care and protection that the marriage will bring, and the mutual respect in which each partner holds the other. Sherin and Michael agreed that their Pagan wedding ceremony was something they'd never forget. Sherin says, "We were married in the open air, directly under the eyes of our God. It was magical to hear the birds singing and to feel the wind blowing around us as we affirmed our vows. It was the most important day of my life."
Sikh
In the Sikh religion, marriage is considered a spiritual union between two individuals. The Guru Granth Sahib, the holy book of Sikhism, is the basis for the wedding ceremony. As one reading puts it, "They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife who have one soul in two bodies."
As the Granthi (priest) of a Sikh temple in London says, "The wedding service is a holy ritual. It is the public joining of two equal individuals of their own free will. It is an essential part of building a family."
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