Compiling the guest list

The first job is to decide on the guest list and this is usually where the wedding party comes to blows. While invitations are traditionally sent out by the bride's parents, the bride and groom should have the chance to invite a similar number of guests. One way to do it is to split the list into thirds - one third for her family, one third for his and one third for the couple's friends.

Start by asking everyone involved to make a rough list, then start pruning! Ultimately, whoever is paying for the wedding should have the final say on numbers, but really, the hosts and couple should have the final say on who makes the cut!

You should add the names of the minister and his or her partner to your list as a matter of courtesy and when it comes to working out numbers, make sure you include all members of the wedding party - people sometimes forget to add themselves!

If you have relatives who you know won't be able to make it on the day, you obviously don't need to include them on your guest list, but make sure you send them an invitation anyway. Many people, in particular very elderly relatives, really appreciate this gesture - it shows that you haven't just forgotten or ignored them.

Reception only?

One way round the problem of having too many friends is to invite those who cannot be fitted in at the ceremony (if the register office is too small, for example) to the reception only. No one should take offence at this arrangement. It's not a cheap solution though and the major factor for limiting numbers may well be cost rather than space. Another solution is for some people to be invited to join in the evening only, if that is an option.